Quotes from various craigslist postings while I was hunting an apartment in Midtown West:

Please read ALL of the post before you reply! Thank you.

We have loved our summer subletter, a fabulous wealthy and sophisticated young investment banker and now are in need of an appropriate replacement.

About us: We are in our late 20′s and early 30′s, work in the non-profit field, are kinda nerdy and artsy-fartsy, political, and always up for a good board game.

We are two crude and often drunken (kind of) recent college grads.

I kid. We’re not strippers, although we do know how to pole dance.

We also enjoy Jeopardy, particularly the kiddie version because we know all the answers

We’re very laid back and easy going with a great group of friends.

We would like a roommate who is respectful, relatively clean (we are not sticklers), and not mentally insane.

Oh, and you can’t be Republican or racist.

Age, race, gender, sexual orientation no matter.

If you have a good sense of humor, know how to cook and the meaning of life are of course big big pluses, but not required. ;-)

Looking for a sane, nice, non-smoking roommate to share a great two bedroom in perfect mid town west location.